I was a social butterfly tonight.
I went to 3 of the 4 events I had plans to attend Saturday night. A stealthly Stealth prevented a 100% Tara showing, although that event would have been the most exciting. I felt really good about myself today. I even painted my finger nails. My toenails are always done, but rarely my fingernails. I chose black, that's a new color for me. I was smiling brightly.

My night started with a great compliment from a pretty blonde, that left me blushing and having trouble opening a door, which led D to laugh at me, but I didn't mind. I was smiling brightly. Then I went to a birthday/housewarming party where the 10 year-old daughter of a friend rocked at beer pong, but she did have a designated drinker. Then I got to hang out with my super great friends and some Scoobys singing Buffy.

I met some nice people from OKC and made an instant friend. We paid each other compliments about our tresses. Also, they agreed to volunteer for Can't Stop The Serenity 2008. They let us stand with them, thus moving us up like 50 people in line. I was smiling brightly.

My Honey Bunny (a bunny that I'm not afraid of) said that I looked extra nice tonight. That made me smile extra brightly. OX OX OX

I feel taller than my frame that's just shy of 6' says I am. I guess my spirit is growing again. It's been in a slump for a while.

Tomorrow I am going to bask in nature. There's a bonsai and orchid show and sale that I am excited about seeing. I will smile brightly.

Thank you to Suzanne for the new band pleasure of the day!
But could someone please tell me why I'd not heard of Velvet Love Box before?
They are a local band from Fort Worth.
Being that I am a lover of Reggae (even though I always have difficulty spelling that word)/Ska/Ethnic music and all. Do they play cover gigs at large Sherlock-type of bars or something? I can see that I'd not hear of them if they play those type of places. I see where they do play The Flying Saucer a lot. Maybe that's why, I don't go to Addison or Sundance Square much for music.

Has anyone seen them live and would recommend them for my listening pleasure?
Do they go well with a pint of Newcastle, Scotch, martini as well as a can of Lone Star?

Gees, I've gotten so far behind on experiencing new-to-me bands this past year.

Life has gotten in the way. I need another live music buddy to get into trouble with, that also has a couch for me to crash on, that lives in Fort Worth or Dallas, or anywhere closer to live music than where I live. Guah!!!
I wake early and cook a mean breakfast!

From the world of Blu.

Blu: Mom. I know what I want my Halloween costume to be this year.
Tara (fearing something that includes lots of sequins): What's that Honey?
Blu: I asked you to stop calling me that.
Tara: Sorry. What's that Sweetheart?
Blu (with a sparkle in her eye): I want to be an FBI agent. You know, a spy.
Tara: You probably mean a CIA agent. FBI are like super cops, not spies.
Blu: Yeah.... CIA. I want to wear all black and stuff.
Tara: Okay. Do you still have that ear piece I gave you for the cell phone, and those black sunglasses?
Blu: Yeah, I have the earpiece, but I lost the sunglasses. I need new black boots too.
Tara: How about black shoes?
Blu: No, they have to be boots. The girl spies are hot when you see them in the movies. They wear boots, not flat shoes.
Tara: Done.

Blu's choices of Halloween costumes have been great.
A farmer.
A dinosaur.
A dinosaur. She wore the costume all the time for a year.
A clown.
A wolf, dressed in Grandmother's clothing.
A fairy.
A fairy godmother (same costume, different theme).
A Celina witch (school color is orange).

She's soo going to rock being a CIA agent. She's already got the attitude.

Here's a story from a few years ago.
I promised Suzanne that I'd blog about it in response to her latest "lesibian moment".

When Blu was about 4 years old, she and I went to visit my younger sister. We were going through boxes and working in her yard or something. She was wearing overalls, I was wearing jeans and a flannel jacket. We were both wearing ballcaps and our best low-maintance no make-up look. Blu was wearing overalls too.

We went to the movie rental store and made a stop at Albertsons. All the way from the truck (yeah, add that to the whole look) my sister and I were holding Blu by an arm and were doing the "1,2,3 weee!" arm swing the child across the parking lot. Cindy said "Hahaha... it looks like we are Blu's 2 moms!" We chuckled and started to shop.

When we were checking out, with a long line in a crowded store, Blu chose the most appropriate time to say loudly, "Guess what? I have 2 moms!" Damage control time. Cindy and I both turn bright red and talk over each other's words like a Robert Altman film "We are sisters! Really. Not that there's anything wrong with being homosexual. Kids are so funny. The repeat everything."

Aren't kids just great?

9:52 PM - Day with The Blu
Category: Life

Today was a wonderful day!
Any day that I am with The Blu is wonderful, but today was extra special.
We spent the afternoon and evening together with friends and a suprise visit from my younger sister. With any long car ride to Fort Worth, we share music with each other.

Today, we listened to the whole Johnny Lloyd Rollins CD on the Southern trip, which she knows all the words to all of the songs, On the Northern return trip, I let her listen to a variety of songs... Nick Drake, old school David Bowie, lots of Lucinda Williams, Bjork, Block, Amy Winehouse, Baby Boy Da Prince, and Keane. We were driving the final mile to the house when The Sugarcubes "Birthday" was playing, and sat in the driveway finishing the song. She said, "Wow, she is really good. I want to hear more of her songs." I am amazed every day with her music appreciation.

Blu is GOLD! But I am her mother, I am biased. :o)

Thank you to everyone that came out to meet up with us for lunch and for inviting us to the birthday party. She had a blast and enjoyed your company as well. She thinks you all are awesome.

Peace,
The Tara

Baby Blu is starting to feel better. She's been quite sick this week. With, as it seems, half of the DFW population.

It was a good day. The bungalow was filled with kids and a frightened yet curious kitty cat. Boy games, girl games, darts, kiddo fashion show, cartoons, pizza, taking a nice brisk walk, grocery shopping and dropping some cash at the auto repair shop and being chased by a dog were all part of our day.

I did a lot of cleaning today. I rid myself of some clutter and it felt good.

A movie started to play on "Dinner and a Movie" on TBS that I questioned my watching. So I sent out a text. "Should I really watch "Serendipity" alone? Or will I cry myself to sleep because I'm without a partner? lol" My older sister replied with "Crying is good sometimes. I say yes." My Honey Bunny GF replied with "Don't you dare watch that! (She said it was all about long lost love and how life won't be good without it) ...Call some-such, he's always good for a f*ck love conversation." I told her it's too late to heed her warning, due to that I already invested 10 minutes in to it and will finish watching.

Then we had a back and forth funny banter about it all and how I should live closer because they were trying out a new blender and drinks. This made me smile and laugh.

Oddly enough, I've seen this movie before, but I totally forgot how the middle went or what the ending was. The movie is now coming to an end.
I remember the beautiful snowflakes.

Destiny? Fate? Some glorious plan? Right time, right place?
No, I don't think so. People do things every day that thwart all of that. I think that life is more like a game of Frogger, where you have to jump forward and backward, left and right, away from resistance and harm. Is there ever a real chance of finding your soulmate, or even someone really appropriate for you when you are merely trying to survive?

For me? I will just exist. This is what I know how to be best. I will go with the ebb and flow of my life and the experiences it has in store for me.
So far, I am still alive and kicking.

Where ever I go, I take pop tabs from aluminum cans. With the help of neighbors and co-workers, Blu and I have collected at least a 1,000 since last December.
I get some stange looks and questions about my klepto behavior.
Here's why.
The Ronald McDonald Homes have a fundraising campaign called The Pop Tab Collection Program that was started in 1987. It's a little thing that each child (and their family) can do to help support a worthy charity.

Celina is a nice small town where it's people gather to help their neighbors in time of need. Last year, a beautiful little girl in Blu's grade named Claire was diagnosed with an inoperable brainstem tumor. She became a patient at The M.D. Anderson Cancer Center and her family would stay at the the local Ronald McDonald House during the time of her treatments. Her prognosis is not a good one, 6-12 months is what her doctors are currently saying is what's left on her life expectancy. The current efforts are trying to get her into a program outside of the US for trial medications.

The Celina Elementary School collected over 50,000 pop tabs last year.

Blu was invited to a birthday party this past Sunday and Claire was in attendance. She is thin, with translucent jaundiced skin. Her hair is growing back and is short and smooth as velvet. Her presence is guarded by her friends, holding her hand to steady her walk as they played. Her smile was grand though.

There's another fundraiser to help the family cover medical costs next month. Cars for Claire is Saturday Oct. 6th at 9am.

I am sure that all of us have been affected by cancer, but especially if your loved one or friend is a child. So, collect your pop tabs and know that this little act will help some family out there.

A good thing that has come from this, is that Blu would like to start a community wide recycling program to help fund the Rondald McDonald Houses. I will gladly volunteer my time to help accomplish the goal of a child to help other children.

The power went out on the block where out office sits earlier this afternoon.
After a few minutes, my boss came back into my office, which is through a normally dark storage section between our connecting buildings. He emerged from the darkness, clicking his cane against the wall as if to announce his presence, saying, "Ewww, ohhh, it's really dark back here. What kind of operation are we running?"
I replied, " A shady one Sir." That made him chuckle.

On Fridays at work, we have a weekly progress meeting for the boss, project managers, and the self-titled Minister of Propaganda. So the four of us (lol) gather in our Frank Lloyd Wright conference room. If you've ever seen my office, you'd know how true, yet tongue-in-cheek this really must be.

I started a list of things to do for the rest of the day and ideas for the week. I didn't care for the order, and wanted a fresh start, so I tore out the sheet, crumpled it in to a ball and tossed it towards the middle of the table. This behavior is totally out of my norm, so the table became silent.

"What? It's an origami boulder." I jokingly replied to their stares. "Tara, is that a new product line you are wanting to introduce?" my bossed quipped. Rebecca, our Minister of Propoganda pointed out, "No two are ever alike."

Stealth sent me this link a couple of weeks ago. Thanks for the inspiration for a funny episode at work.

A super coolio group of friends and I went to The Fort Worth Modern Art Museum this past Sunday for the Ron Mueck exhibit. There's free admission the first Sunday of the month and every Wednesday. It was sooo crowded being it was a holiday weekend and having a popular exhibit on view. For the most part, people were considerate and polite. But I did hear a few people complain about it being "too crowded" for their pleasure. I was sooo super excited to see it that full. Most of the time I go, I am just one of only a handful of people in each gallery room.

I've never been to New York City or Washington DC, but I could only imagine that the museums there are crowded every day.

As a child, when I'd go on summer trips with my mom for her annual medical conferences, I always looked forward to going to the local museums. We didn't have a lot of extra money to go to the theme parks and such, and museums are usually free for kids. I've always loved to go to museums, regardless of size or the nature of the collection. I also relish is the smaller ones of little towns in the area. They are so quaint and special.

I remember one time at the MOD, they have a piece that's a large wooden box made from the wall material of the artist's studio. It had small holes cut into the sides and top. Most adults just walk around it and move on. My companion and I got down on our hands and knees and looked through the holes at each other. The museum guard in the room started to giggle. He told us that he's never seen an adult do that before, just kids. He thought it was awesome.

One time I took Blu to the Trammell and Margaret Crow Collection of Modern Art in downtown Dallas when she was 6. There are a few Auguste Rodin sculptures outside that really grasped her attention. She said, "Look at the size of their feet. Do you think that Rodin made them so much bigger than they should be, because they have to balance and hold the weight of the sculpture?" She's gold I tell you! We then walked over to the Nasher Sculpture Center and got in trouble by the security guards for walking hand in hand up the rising planter walls." We were just being kids, sorry." I told him. He smiled and let us finish up to the top and then we jumped down.


So, go to museums more often. Look at things the way a child would. You'll enjoy it.

Every time my mother comes to visit she brings a bag of stuff from my past.
This evening I opened it up and sorted through what I want to keep and what to toss.

It was filled with art projects from 7th grade, a journal from 10th grade along with term papers on Andy Warhol and Edgar Allen Poe, and a whole stack of books that I read sometime in early junior high. There were a lot of Duran Duran magazine posters with various other New Wave bands. I found something that scared me, a pen & ink drawing of a freaking unicorn! The only thing that saved me is the fact that it was in a Japanese style, I was probably copying some of my father's stacks and stacks of mythological book covers. The journal was very interesting reading. Some of the same issues and thought processes I still have. I find it comforting that I was as much of a introvert rebel in my early youth as I am now. My handwriting was total crap. But will I ever solve the world's problems?

Last week I told Lacee about a recurring nightmare that I have had ever since this time period. I almost fainted when I read in my journal of the recounting of that nightmare. I had it again last week. Too scary. It was about losing my older sister.

The sketches that I found we of the same quality of some of the sketches that Blu is currently drawing. She is going to be awesome!

Here's a list of the books that I was reading during this time period. Funnay!
Tom Sawyer, Hans Brinker, The Handbook of Beauty, Organic Chemistry Study Cards, The Exorcist, Guide to Painting, Listening to the Great Teacher, America's Great Heroes, and Dr. C.G. Jung's Flying Saucers.

Maybe the best reassurance that you are on the right track as an adult, is to go back to the past, to the core of your childhood, and see what your goals in life were.

I remember being as much as an insomniac then as I am now. Damnit!

This past Saturday, when other children are watching cartoons, Blu is again watching the season finale of America's Got Talent where the wonderful Cas Haley of Woodbelly was the runner up.

Blu: Will you take me some time to go see Cas play? He's like super famous now. Will he know your name?
Tara: I sure will. If he or Woodbelly are playing a festival or daytime show that children can attend, that doesn't have a cover charge of $20 a ticket, I'll take you for sure! Yes, he knows me by name, but it's not like I can call him up on the phone or anything.
Blu: You know people, can't you just ask someone to get us in for free?
Tara (laughing): The whole deal with musicians is that music is not only their life, it's their work; that's how they earn a living. That's why Mommy has a good little collection of local music cds. I try to support their music.
Blu: Oh, that's cool. I can dig it.

Currently listening : Woodbelly By Woodbelly

Thank you to everyone that met up at the MOD yesterday.
It was a beautiful day filled with beautiful art spent with beautiful friends.

I try to learn everyday. I want to learn about art, society, friends, others and myself.
I've learned some more things about myself this weekend; some things good and some ways that I need to better myself.
I will become a hard working woman.
I have a lot to prove, if only just to myself.

My silence and lack of action is in no way my acquiescence to a situation.
I choose to take the high road.
I am not saying that I am a better person.
I am a good, honest and trustworthy person.

I am making the conscious decision to not allow someone else's ill feelings
to dampen my joy, damage my peace, or taint my karma.

Peace,
The Tara

This morning I put some medicine on Blu's arm where she had a scrape.
Blu: Thank you, thank you very muuuuch.
Tara laughs uncontrollably.
Blu curls up her lip, stands off to the side and points both index fingers at me and says, "You're a hunka hunka hunka burning looove Baby."

Life can't get much better than that!

Blu is the best 8 year-old girl Elvis impersonator I've seen in my kitchen in a loooong time.